I remember the first time I heard your voice. you opened your mouth and what seemed like scrambled knowledge came out. you managed to make every simple thing sound so complex. I figured you were one of those outside the box thinkers but it turns out you’re one of those my mind operates within three boxes filled with tunnels and escalators that goes through all three boxes filling and sorting information like a well oiled machine. you opened your boxes and I was willing to enter.
all these challenges and games we played seemed like a chess game. never have I thought so much about reading dictionaries in search of meanings to the words you say or trying to find a definition to what I was feeling…
we were together but not really together. for nights on end we talked about this, that and forever. you and your complexity with that sneaky mind of yours managed to open my chest and take my heart, along with it my brain told me to give you my last name…the impossible seemed possible for moments at a time.
next thing I know you were at hospital. it’s around the third time now, no fourth. two days before you were just making fun of how stupid I am for being pretty smart. so why are you the one doing stupid things? why does it seem like you’re leaving me, what’s wrong with your heart? you have mine, there’s no excuse. I know you’re strong, you have so much potential so young and I want you to unlock it with your complex triple box tunnel way of thinking. wake up…fucking shit wake up, huh? “what’s up?” oh you know not like you just survived a life and death situation….yet you still have that gorgeous smile. all I could do was wait…don’t ask me what’s up, get some rest, you make my head hurt.
there seems to be this gap in time kinda like a gap in our skill level in call of duty. whenever you would snipe me with your eyes closed. our difference in ability was obvious it just seemed like I couldn’t touch you and at some point I felt like I couldn’t…when i saw a chance it seemed like I could snipe you but instead I pulled the knife out on impulse…game over. the forever talk became never talk to me again.